1. Frogger: The Great Quest
One of the first two games I played at a very young age, I didn't really think much of Frogger as the one with the frog guy at the time. I've beaten this game more often than I expected, and that's saying something when I haven't 100%-ed the far superior Gran Turismo 3. Let's start with the positives. The music is incredible and is probably the best thing about this game! The level environments work well for the most part, especially when you're roaming around places like the River Princess boat, the small towns, or even the castles from the Frankenstein level and the game's penultimate level. Also, putting Frogger on the 3D world doesn't seem like a bad thing...if it weren't for everything else. First off, the controls don't feel right. While you have the standard 3D controls needed for platformers like these, Frogger doesn't feel all that refined, especially when stuff like jumping feels clunky while there's no real weight to stuff like the goobers and the "frog-fu". Second, the visuals tend to look decent in some areas yet stuff like the character designs and the way they're animated don't look too hot even for early PS2 games. Third, the camera fucking sucks in this game and makes platforming hard to tackle when you're trying to progress through some of the more frustrating levels. It's almost like there's a bit of unfinished syndrome going on, but the janky looks of the game and the way power ups barely alter the gameplay are proof of it all. Then there's stuff like the collectible coins, gems, and other monetary items used to collect concept art and bios of a specific character. Want to know a stupid thing about it? If you don't have enough money in the game, you can't buy certain pieces of concept art; you can't even go back and recollect the stuff you missed out on because replaying levels isn't even an option! What kind of game does that?
There was a prototype trailer that had better mechanics implemented. What happened to the development of this game? I really want to know because the way the game was presented in that trailer was too damn clean. Smooth gameplay, even better visuals, and cutscenes not from the game, what went wrong? I really want to know, and it's a shame that we live in a society where people want to keep talking about how one thing about Sonic Forces tarnished their totally believable trust in Sega while this game has very little that's documented.
2. Transformers: Tataki
I already shared this in my least favorite TF media, so I'll copy it and bring it over here.I remember being super excited about this Japanese G1 game when I first saw it. The intro felt like the best thing ever, to the point where I would regularly watch it on my 3DS when I recorded it. I even saw footage of the transformation gallery and thought it was great stuff. Sadly, it took me a long time to actually try it out and realize just how bad it is. I don't expect it to have the quality of a modern-day video game, but at least make it as good as a normally acceptable PS2 game (also doesn't help when the Australian PS2 game based on Armada is one of the best PS2 games ever made).
The story depicts the Autobots (Optimus Prime, Jazz, Wheeljack) and the Decepticons (Megatron, Starscream, Soundwave) looking for their allies on the planet Zel Samine, where they each encounter one another before encountering their missing allies and later meeting the Transformers from the future (Rodimus, Kup, Arcee, Galvatron, Cyclonus, and Scourge). Apparently, 2010 Shockwave has grown tired of Galvatron and discovers the Zel Quartz, making him much stronger before losing control. Both factions look for the artifact but encounter other items, and they later meet each other at the ELTA power plant. Starscream takes the quartz from whoever has it, and the Transformers from the future return to their time period now that the Quartz is ineffective. One other thing I'll mention is despite being a Japanese game, the dialogue is actually English and even includes English voice actors...who happen to live in Japan and result in either passable or awful takes on the G1 cartoon voice actors. It makes you wonder if it was supposed to have a US release before facing cancellation due to Hasbro's lack of involvement or the game being bad.
You have the option to play in either faction, and they each have their own story to work with. While it's appreciative that you can play as the Autobots and Decepticons, the only ones that get the attention are the main 12 I mentioned above; while you do get to complete the roster one by one (with dull, repetitive cutscenes to boot), they're never seen in most of the story and only appear in the in-game cutscenes when they're accompanying you. Also, Shockwave's involvement in the present is ironically small, as he only shows up for one boss fight or accompanies your Decepticons. Sure, he's mentioned by the Decepticons from the future, but he is otherwise a worthless threat when the actual Decepticons are going to alter the past anyhow. Also funny how the Decepticons manage to lie about who they are while the Autobots attempt to remain silent about how they know the future (because they don't want to mess time up) until Rodimus suddenly decides to explain what happens BEFORE Optimus tells him to stop.
As for the gameplay overall, it's some of the worst I've ever seen and is honestly on par with the type of shovelware you'd expect on the PS2 and Wii games that were made late in their run. It's a 3D beat-em-up with RPG elements, and you can choose two other Transformers to accompany you. The problem is, when you set aside playing CGI versions of the old characters, what you end up with is a game that's sluggish in progression due to the way the controls are optimized. Despite having features like transforming, hand-to-hand combat, shooting, and special attacks, this game starts to get repetitive with the recycled fight animations and the constant barrage of enemies going after you. This wouldn't be an issue if it was actually possible to clear a path without dealing with not just an unreasonably close group of enemy Transformers but also devices used within a level or cannons that will push you back in the middle of a fight. And try not to punch your screen if you keep losing health during a mine run. It's too much to include within a game yet none of it really amounts to anything, especially the gameplay. There are three difficulties, but unlike Armada, they're not even that different aside from the number of continues you have. Oh and you can't revisit any levels since doing so requires you restart your save so you can meet up with any missing Transformers in the game.
What about the characters? There are about 104 Transformers to play as, and they're at least from the main three seasons of the show as well as the 1986 movie and even The Headmasters. Sounds great, right? Actually no. For one, they all fight the same and maintain the same stock-posture that doesn't make them feel unique from one another aside from the skins and way certain altmodes work. They can be upgraded to have better stats to ease the difficulty of the game, but the fact that there are far too many characters than there is Energon to refuel them scratches my head as to where my responsibilities should go with the ones I play with the most. Also, notice the lack of a "transform" feature on Ironhide? Unlike Megatron, Ironhide's not only missing a vehicle mode, but he's outright unplayable in this game along with characters like Prowl, Wreck-Gar, the gestalt leaders, and even the Dinobots of all characters? Why are these more popular characters not playable yet a foot soldier like Gnaw and the rarely seen Full-Tilt get to be playable? Also, Hot Rod's inclusion in the game is weird when he and Rodimus are the same character, yet the game adds a "Dark" version for the Decepticons for some reason along with some NPCs that add little to the game like the Optimus and Megatron clones as well as Soundblaster.
In terms of presentation, the graphics may seem okayish for PS2 standards, but the main problem comes from how they look next to the FMVs; normally, that's expected to occur as the FMVs require a little more work to make them presentable than in-game cutscenes are, so using the latter frequently helps when you're entering a level while FMVs would be used for some of the more important scenes. Unfortunately, there's a big contrast between the more dynamic character movement and camera angles compared to the static in-game cutscenes where characters flap their mouths while standing around and doing the occasional stock animation of pointing, shaking their fists, or looking surprised. It would be acceptable in the PS1 days, and now that I'm thinking about it, part of me feels this was meant for the PS1 before Winkysoft and Takara thought it'd be best to take advantage of the PS2 hardware without making the game feel functionally suitable for the PS2 with more animations and less reliance on stock material.
It breaks my heart that this game sucks badly. I'd say worse than the stuff that came before it, even Mystery of Convoy. Between how atrocious the controls are, how bloated the challenge is, and the lack of replay value, this game's appeal fades right away with repeated playthroughs unless you have very low expectations and are more of an optimist. What's also sad about this game is despite having an intro that gives you that "hell, yeah!" feeling, what you're actually getting is nothing more but the Superman 64 equivalent of a Transformers game. You should stick with the Cybertron games as well as Devastation. You should also stick with the Movie-tie in games. You should additionally stick with the TFP game and the Armada game. Hell, Beast Wars on the PC and PS1 isn't too bad in comparison to this kill screen.
3. Donkey Kong Land
This is a fairly obscure game what with its home on the handheld side of things and the SNES games already having more attention, but it's a Gameboy take on the concepts seen in the Donkey Kong Country series but with a few tweaks added into the mix and a story that puts this as less of a port and more of a new game using a similar engine. Honestly, the fact that it does some new things and still remains faithful to the old game is a pretty awesome aspect of the Donkey Kong Land series, especially with this game in particular!
The original Gameboy even attempted to make it work well, but I feel it was a little too soon to make a game like this. The problems about Donkey Kong Land are as follows: the save feature's a little wonky as it requires you to collect the K O N G letters, but things like the sprites and screen crunch kill it for me. The details of the character sprites and background's neat and all, but the lack of color and definition between what's on the front and what goes on the back makes them feel meshed in together a little too easily. Also, the platforming sucks thanks to how zoomed in the game feels and how small the platforming is. Then stuff like falling into a pit despite not being near one in the slightest happens. It's very disappointing when you think about how nice and tight most GBA games are, and while this isn't as bad as, say, Toy Story on the Gameboy, it's still an example of why color works best. You're better off playing the SNES or GBA versions of the game, but at least later hardware lets you play with a bit more color.
4. Shadow the Hedgehog
I know what you're thinking: why have I not selected Sonic 06, Boom, or Forces??? It's simple: Sonic 06 could be a bit more bearable if the gameplay was enhanced (story still sucks) while Boom and Forces aren't too bad save for the former's cheapo feel and the latter's edge that people kek about. Shadow the Hedgehog, on the other hand, is an example of how not to be a Sonic game all around. I remember playing this as a kid at my cousin's house and thinking it was awesome, and I also remember hoping it'd be good to revisit because it could be like the Luigi's Mansion of the Sonic series...sadly, it greatly falls short. It's also the game that made people joke constantly about Shadow being an edge lord instead of a dark character with a bit of substance to him. See, Shadow's usually seen as someone with a past that's considered "edgy" but is at least appealing as an anti-hero to the Sonic series. This game feels more like a parody of how he's all OW THE EDGE by taking out the Shad Hhog from him.
The story sees Shadow as he must learn about who he is and follow different paths along the way as either a hero, villain, or neutral character. It's pretty weak overall with the reliant on flashbacks that don't really go anywhere and a few continuity errors here and there, but the presentation doesn't feel too much like an improvement outside of the fully rendered cutscenes. Additionally, the gameplay feels worse than Sonic Heroes, which felt relatively smooth and responsive. This gameplay generally felt clunky unless you're doing the gunplay. BTW, why would Shadow really use guns when he's already a powerful character? It's like giving Superman and Cyclops guns when they're essentially lasers themselves. The tone's laughably out of place; I'm not against dark tones for some franchises, but there's a difference between actual weight and being dark for the hell of it. And don't get me started when Shadow says "damn" or "hell". Again, I'm not saying that he should say "golly gee" or "oh me oh my!", but I feel he's perfectly fine without the swearing since his dialogue's already tonally different from the other characters. The Conker series made sense to have stronger language and violence because it was meant to be a parody from the start, as it pokes fun of the fact that these cutesy characters would be involved with adult humor like Fritz the Cat, in a way. With this game, it's almost like Sega wanted to be laughed at, and it doesn't help with a good portion of Sonic fans representing themselves as the purists who would spaz out if they saw a new game with a new feature.
Now you see that map? It houses all the levels you need to complete the game. Looks weirdly structured, but it could probably be worthwhile, right? Well, here's the kicker: there are paths you need to take in order to beat the game. You can either team up with the heroes like Sonic and Tails, go with Black Arms and Eggman in the villain missions, or see your own path (even though you have to choose either side at the end); this non-linear gameplay would be cool if it was just giving you different ways to reach to all the levels. Instead, you have to beat this game 326 times by making EVERY SINGLE RUN with a specific chain of levels, and it's especially unacceptable for a game with this quality. And they're apparently named! Why name these barely different game paths??? It's not like you can discover new stuff, you end up by doing so every time because you'll already get to the final boss by the time you're done with the 10 bosses! All in all, this game failed to at least be neat from a distance. Very disappointing if you ask me.
5. Star Wars: Flight of the Falcon
This was one of the GBA titles I used to own as a kid. From a time I was learning all about Star Wars, I was excited to play this game because it had the awesome Millennium Falcon! What's not to love about it? You can even play as the X-Wing and other smaller vehicles in the series! Sadly, everything else about it falls apart. I mean it's got ambition in terms of visuals, and the GBA styled soundtrack's kinda cool, but the stuff that pulls it back is parts of the execution.
The game would probably work on the DS because of the models and perspective, but on the GBA, it's a mixed bag. Space levels do work better than in environments where you have to avoid shit (looking at you, Mos Eisley Spaceport). Framerate can be inconsistent, too; sometimes it's a decent 30fps if there's not too much going on, but then in certain levels it sinks to an ugly 15fps. And it's especially infuriating when you want to avoid too much shit That easily kills you. In sum, this ain't the Star Wars game you're looking for.
6. Batman: Dark Tomorrow
The Batman series is guaranteed to get more games than any DC superhero, but one would expect them to have good quality put in the mix. Batman: Dark Tomorrow was supposed to have a much more expansive approach in it's world of Gotham City, it would probably have been great had it not been for the terrible controls, lousy camera, and being scaled back real bad.
Originally made to be an open-world game with all the ambitious combat fit for Batman, this game instead turns into an extremely linear experience that would probably work best for the PS1 (ironic because the PS2 version was canceled). Aside from the previously mentioned issues, another problem with Dark Tomorrow is how you get the good ending. the good ending can only be done if you disable the bombs at the end of Ra's Lair before you defeat Ra's. the problem is that this is not mentioned to the gamer which means you end up with either Batman defeating Ra's but indirectly getting one-third of the population killed because of Ra's bombs not being disabled OR Batman dies and the chaos ensues. The DCAU Batman games are not going to replace the Arkham series and the like, before what they were, they were pretty decent games all around. Dark Tomorrow, on the other hand, is not how you make a Batman game.
7. The Simpsons: Wrestling
The show is an amazing piece of entertainment (especially when it comes to the older seasons), so to have a game where you can play as your favorite Simpsons character and beat up player two's favorite Simpsons character already sounds promising. Sadly it's not the case with this entry. What pushes it back is just how it looks the attempt to look like the animation style doesn't do the game visuals justice, even if it does look fairly faithful. Additionally, the gameplay's choppy as all hell thanks to the awkward controls and how abrupt things feel. You can get special attacks and the like with ones made for specific characters, but it doesn't stop from the fact that the game overall lacks any real consistent quality.
The only good things about this game are the music as well as having everyone from the show involved; all the voice actors associated with their characters are there and to its credit, playing as Ned Flanders is great with his lightning attacks, but I've seen better games from the Simpsons series, which mainly include the old arcade, Hit and Run, and The Simpsons Game. This is why you would be probably better off waiting for the game to be on PS2 or another equivalent. Not much else to say about this game other than no Seymour and Superintendent, so any Steamed Ham memes are out of the question.
8. Rise of the Robots
This is the most obscure title on this list, so I'll begin that Rise of the Robots was meant to be this next form of fighting game evolution that would depict AI opponents learning your moves to make the game challenging you can try not to let them get on the winning edge. The series was about a Cyborg that's sent to go after the Supervisor machine from going awry even further when it was corrupted by a computer virus, with plenty of other robots going after the protagonist. It's also a series that would have been quite expansive in terms of media, with a novel along with toys, comics, a cartoon series, and even an actual movie in talks to be made. In a universe where Rise of the Robots is actually good, everyone would be in love with that series and cherish the media that was promised.
In this world, however, the actual gameplay's a letdown due to how slow everything is and how unimaginative the combat gets between your character and the opponent players. There's no AI implemented in your opponents, so all you get is basic punches and kicks that don't make the game feel any more exciting. Graphics look neat, but they sort of make the game chug in terms of its performance while also doing very little favors with the backgrounds. Also, you have a very limited roster of characters to play as. The worst part is that Rise of the Robots was seen as the next best thing that would have easily brought in plenty of video game enthusiasts together, but it's just as underwhelming as the outcomes of ET and Sonic 06.
So that covers my more negative list of video games, join me next time where I talk about the titles and series I want to delve into! See you then!
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